I'm a Bones junkie! No, I'm not a savage calcium crunching cannibal with a taste for craniums, what I meant was the TV series Bones of which Astro is now airing the 5th season (Fox, Channel 710, weeknights 2150 or weekends in the mornings- I memorized it). It's times like these I wish I had Astro at home.
Recently came back from Cherating, where I rediscovered my love for Bones after cathcing 5 episodes of the show. Season 4 used to be aired on normal television every Monday night, and I used to follow it religiously. I don't like many other series: CSI, NCIS, Criminal Minds.... all of them do not seem to arouse the same passion in me. The only one that comes close would be the Mentalist; I quite enjoy that show.
This got me thinking, what makes me such a Bones-fanatic? What does this show have that others do not?
The answer was immediately obvious- Bones has awesome chemistry between it's leads, so much that the other shows can't touch it. (The two main characters are Brennen aka Bones, a.... well, bone researcher, and Booth, an FBI agent.) In every individual episode (each episode is like CSI, with a body being found, murder most of the time) there is this tension between the two which is so exciting. It's the same feeling one gets watching two people who are on the verge of becoming an item- the uncertainty, the hope that everything works out well, the possibilities.... It reminds me of the time when I was still in college and two of my classmates were flirting with each other rather openly; one isn't sure if it's for fun or if there's something more. I had great fun teasing them when it wasn't sure, but after they become an item, well, there wasn't much to tease anymore.
Brennen is portrayed as a straight talking, no-nonsense, humorless scientist who is brilliant at what she does and has no time for anything but her work; Booth is the tough cop who hands out the whoop-ass to the criminals, none too bookish but very streetwise, smart-talking, and functions as the general protector for the rest of the team. Basically the writers of the show made the two characters polar opposites of each other and made them work together. They go into the field together and eat lots of meals over consultations and catch bad guys and get to know each other better. Of course there is nothing going on between the two of them, everything is all professional courtesy at most......... yeah right. It's really cute how so much is said and even more is implied but Brennen doesn't get it at all, leaving Booth speechless. It works the other way around too. The murders themselves aren't terribly interesting, but I keep watching to find out what happens between Bones and Booth. The other characters in the show all know they should be an item... everyone knows except the two people in question, who think they are way too dissimilar. The big question all the viewers are asking is- will they get together?
Gosh, I'm a romantic.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Rrrrrrgggahhhhhh!!!!!
I need to get out of the house, pronto. Getting irritable and restless- more and more each day. There is so much out there which I can do and experience and achieve and I'm stuck in a home which is starting to feel like a prison.
One of the contributing factors is I have to much loose energy for my own good. I need an outlet, something that I can pour my time and energy into so that I can keep sane. Not just anything, but something that I feel is challenging and worth the time. It's an everything or nothing approach, because most of the time after I do some concentrated work I feel like doing nothing other than lazing around.
If there's too much time on my hands, I have this tendency to chaff at the inactivity and explode easily. This is damaging on relationships, to say in the least. Playing computer games used to be sufficient as a displacement activity, but now there is just too much time to kill, so much so that games are not enough. The people at home are getting annoying too. My brothers seem content with just wasting time or playing with the computer the whole day. Today I already clocked a couple of hours on the badminton court but already the itch to just do some physical activity is back. Gotta find some stuff I can do solo- maybe another marathon.
February cannot come soon enough.
One of the contributing factors is I have to much loose energy for my own good. I need an outlet, something that I can pour my time and energy into so that I can keep sane. Not just anything, but something that I feel is challenging and worth the time. It's an everything or nothing approach, because most of the time after I do some concentrated work I feel like doing nothing other than lazing around.
If there's too much time on my hands, I have this tendency to chaff at the inactivity and explode easily. This is damaging on relationships, to say in the least. Playing computer games used to be sufficient as a displacement activity, but now there is just too much time to kill, so much so that games are not enough. The people at home are getting annoying too. My brothers seem content with just wasting time or playing with the computer the whole day. Today I already clocked a couple of hours on the badminton court but already the itch to just do some physical activity is back. Gotta find some stuff I can do solo- maybe another marathon.
February cannot come soon enough.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Eye Catching
I'm a sucker for a pretty girl, in the sense that when one walks by I tend to do a double take. Or triple take, occasionally. Some of my friends say that they can catch when I'm 'kap lui', as they put it, but that's a tad bit unfair.... I like to notice the people who walk by no matter who they are- being mindful of the surroundings and all that. Of course, they are correct some of the times.
What makes a girl attractive? Being physically pretty is the most obvious plus point, but then there's a lot more than that. I've come to learn that one can find pretty girls by the truckload in every country in the world. Some can be keepers while others are just 'arm-candy' as the term goes. I find quiet confidence very appealing- the sort which is self-assure without needing to tell the whole world about it or to flaunt qualifications. Most pretty girls are quite confident, by virtue of being constantly the center of attraction. On the other hand, we have girls who are not exactly pretty but are sure of themselves, which is interesting, to say in the least. By liking themselves, other people like them.
If you are wondering why I'm suddenly blogging about this, it's because I met a rather interesting girl recently; one of my friend's friends. Nothing romantic, but it got me thinking about this.
What makes a girl attractive? Being physically pretty is the most obvious plus point, but then there's a lot more than that. I've come to learn that one can find pretty girls by the truckload in every country in the world. Some can be keepers while others are just 'arm-candy' as the term goes. I find quiet confidence very appealing- the sort which is self-assure without needing to tell the whole world about it or to flaunt qualifications. Most pretty girls are quite confident, by virtue of being constantly the center of attraction. On the other hand, we have girls who are not exactly pretty but are sure of themselves, which is interesting, to say in the least. By liking themselves, other people like them.
If you are wondering why I'm suddenly blogging about this, it's because I met a rather interesting girl recently; one of my friend's friends. Nothing romantic, but it got me thinking about this.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Random
Wow, my room has been really messy lately- I haven't cleaned it up in a donkey's age. All the luggage from my previous trip lies scattered on the floor, while some laptop accessories that I got recently for free are lying forlornly in their own little corner.
I'm picking up a lot of junk too. Freebies from the airline remain unopened and an armful of maps are soon to be relegated to the bookshelf. It's a bit distressing that the room is so disorganized (I'm going to tidy it up after this), but I just can't seem to find the energy to tiny it up daily. It's the holidays and I feel like resting until my brain liquifies and reaches the consistency of an amoeba and drips out my ear to the floor.
It's not really characteristic of me to be so unenergetic and downright lazy (at least, not to this extent), but my logic is that time is short, so better enjoy it as much as I can. I doubt that I'd have the luxury of lazing around, sleeping in, or general inactivity when the new year rolls in and I enter uni. So. Enjoy while I can.
Just came back from Singapore, my second trip there this year. The first trip was probably more fun, while this trip I got to see more of the country (missing a tour guide though). Went to NTU and visited some friends there- they haven't changed at all, still the same, good all good all. Singapore is really nice, the people, the place, the cleanliness, the convenience.... the government seems pretty good too. Not really sure I should talk politics because I don't like it... it's a job mired in corruption where integrety is an extinct word- better not get started on that. Singapore impresses.
I'm picking up a lot of junk too. Freebies from the airline remain unopened and an armful of maps are soon to be relegated to the bookshelf. It's a bit distressing that the room is so disorganized (I'm going to tidy it up after this), but I just can't seem to find the energy to tiny it up daily. It's the holidays and I feel like resting until my brain liquifies and reaches the consistency of an amoeba and drips out my ear to the floor.
It's not really characteristic of me to be so unenergetic and downright lazy (at least, not to this extent), but my logic is that time is short, so better enjoy it as much as I can. I doubt that I'd have the luxury of lazing around, sleeping in, or general inactivity when the new year rolls in and I enter uni. So. Enjoy while I can.
Just came back from Singapore, my second trip there this year. The first trip was probably more fun, while this trip I got to see more of the country (missing a tour guide though). Went to NTU and visited some friends there- they haven't changed at all, still the same, good all good all. Singapore is really nice, the people, the place, the cleanliness, the convenience.... the government seems pretty good too. Not really sure I should talk politics because I don't like it... it's a job mired in corruption where integrety is an extinct word- better not get started on that. Singapore impresses.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
The first people on the world must have been really confused people. With no predecesors, and no one to tell them what the rules of the game is, they would have to bumble around trying to find their own way.
I find that guilt is an awesome motivator. It prods at me and nags me and annoys me better than my parents ever can or will be able to. And the best thing is, it's completely automatic- all I need to do is neglect one area of my life for a period of time and I'll become restless and uncomfortable. On the flip side, doing what I think I should be doing eliminates the guilt, and makes for a much better day, plus I feel good.
It's a constant paradox, having to stay alive. Work too hard, and one feels stressed; play too much, and the body longs for work; walk too far, and the feet wish for respite; rest too long, and the spirit rebels. I believe that one must try to aim for balance in all areas, making day to day planning like balancing a stack of plates on a toothpick gripped between your teeth while riding on a unicycle. Everthing must be balanced perfectly, even the assistance one offers to another. Especially that, because the aim in helping people is to let them find their way, not making them dependent. Life's a baller.
Difficult, yes. Satstfying, yes. Worth it?
Hell yes.
I find that guilt is an awesome motivator. It prods at me and nags me and annoys me better than my parents ever can or will be able to. And the best thing is, it's completely automatic- all I need to do is neglect one area of my life for a period of time and I'll become restless and uncomfortable. On the flip side, doing what I think I should be doing eliminates the guilt, and makes for a much better day, plus I feel good.
It's a constant paradox, having to stay alive. Work too hard, and one feels stressed; play too much, and the body longs for work; walk too far, and the feet wish for respite; rest too long, and the spirit rebels. I believe that one must try to aim for balance in all areas, making day to day planning like balancing a stack of plates on a toothpick gripped between your teeth while riding on a unicycle. Everthing must be balanced perfectly, even the assistance one offers to another. Especially that, because the aim in helping people is to let them find their way, not making them dependent. Life's a baller.
Difficult, yes. Satstfying, yes. Worth it?
Hell yes.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Sort-of-Empty Nest
Ah, well- time's really slipping by fast. Another batch of people are leaving soon... wishing them all the best in everything.
Having being sort of stuck here since 4 months ago (wow, has it really been that long? or is my math really that bad?) It's kinda sad to know that there will be a fewer friendly faces around this area, soon. But this is tempered by the fact that it's only a matter of time before it's my turn too- something that I haven't yet decided if it's a nett plus or a nett minus.
It sucks being left behind, and worse still if you're the only one. I wasn't, thank goodness. Even found some new stuff to do and new things to fill up the time. Met new people, too. And got to know some people better. So, overall, being late isn't that bad, especially if one can find a way to use it as motivation to fly too.
Having being sort of stuck here since 4 months ago (wow, has it really been that long? or is my math really that bad?) It's kinda sad to know that there will be a fewer friendly faces around this area, soon. But this is tempered by the fact that it's only a matter of time before it's my turn too- something that I haven't yet decided if it's a nett plus or a nett minus.
It sucks being left behind, and worse still if you're the only one. I wasn't, thank goodness. Even found some new stuff to do and new things to fill up the time. Met new people, too. And got to know some people better. So, overall, being late isn't that bad, especially if one can find a way to use it as motivation to fly too.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Inhibitation
I was thinking about inhibitation some time ago. First, let me say that I do believe that people are created equally, with each having his or her own areas where he can excel naturally; and also fields where advancement does not come so easily. Even so, I think that every person can become reasonably proficient in any endeavour given sufficient time and energy is devoted to furthering this skill.
When a group of people first begin to learn, say, a new instrument, there inevitably will be people who are faster in grasping concepts than the others. This breeds a confidence in the faster people and at the same time creates expectations in the group that these faster people are going to be that way permanently, hence the rest will forever be behind them in development. The overall effect is two-way: it empowers the faster group with self-confidence and pushes them forward, whereas the slower people will be inhibited by thoughts that the faster ones are 'just like that' and 'gifted'. End product- the gap between the two groups widens exponentially as the fast group's improvement rate increases exponentially while the slower group's advancement decreases or indeed stops altogether.
Inhibitation prevents people from reaching the pace they should. In groups, a heirachy is usually established, with people segregated into the high, middle, and low. Each level strives to maintain it's position relative to the other, and unconciously but deliberately seeks to inhibit the other levels from rising higher. The low will always remain the low until they realize that the inhibitation may be external, but the choice to accept being inhibited is personal. Unfortunately, one can only choose if he is aware he has a choice- most people are not. Hence the emphasis on studying in Chinese society: the elders hope being a student will aid in the development of thinking, and not merely making a person horde facts.
There are other things that are neccesary before one can better himself, but awareness is always the first step. "Define the question before anything else", as teachers say (or should, if they don't). Of course, one can also inhibit oneself without other people having to do anything. In the end, it always boils down to whether or not a person wants to improve, or not.
When a group of people first begin to learn, say, a new instrument, there inevitably will be people who are faster in grasping concepts than the others. This breeds a confidence in the faster people and at the same time creates expectations in the group that these faster people are going to be that way permanently, hence the rest will forever be behind them in development. The overall effect is two-way: it empowers the faster group with self-confidence and pushes them forward, whereas the slower people will be inhibited by thoughts that the faster ones are 'just like that' and 'gifted'. End product- the gap between the two groups widens exponentially as the fast group's improvement rate increases exponentially while the slower group's advancement decreases or indeed stops altogether.
Inhibitation prevents people from reaching the pace they should. In groups, a heirachy is usually established, with people segregated into the high, middle, and low. Each level strives to maintain it's position relative to the other, and unconciously but deliberately seeks to inhibit the other levels from rising higher. The low will always remain the low until they realize that the inhibitation may be external, but the choice to accept being inhibited is personal. Unfortunately, one can only choose if he is aware he has a choice- most people are not. Hence the emphasis on studying in Chinese society: the elders hope being a student will aid in the development of thinking, and not merely making a person horde facts.
There are other things that are neccesary before one can better himself, but awareness is always the first step. "Define the question before anything else", as teachers say (or should, if they don't). Of course, one can also inhibit oneself without other people having to do anything. In the end, it always boils down to whether or not a person wants to improve, or not.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Nepal's Teachings
Recently I've been to Nepal, for a hiking trip to Annapurna Base Camp. It was good. Really good. Not that it wasn't hard, no, absolutely not- it was easily the toughest walk I've been for- we walked for about 4 hours a day on uneven terrain. During the hardest part we even trekked 14 hours out of 36, enough to make a grown man cry.
What made it enjoyable was not that it was easy all the way. It is only because we trekked and knew what being unhappy was like that we actually appreciated the rest stops in between. And because the trek can be miserable (we had to trek in the rain for 2 hours one day, and it was cold... brrrr), we enjoyed the rest we could get when sleeping in the teahouses. The food was vegetarian on the mountain, tasteless, basic, but filling- food that food critics would rather die than eat because of its simplicity. One day on the trek down the mountains we ate the Maggi tom yam mee hoon we brought from Malaysia for tea, and it tasted wonderful- the very flavour of home.
People say life sucks, and yeah, sometimes it does. But if you don't know what sucks, you'll never know what rocks. It's the initial part that's the most difficult- getting yourself out of your little cocoon of warmth and stepping outside into the sometimes cold, harsh world that is waiting for you to explore. To see the sunrise in Nepal, we had to wake up at 0400 and trek in the dark up a hill for 2 hours wearing 4 layers of clothes, it was that cold. I admit to cursing while going uphill. But the view... that was amazing. Yes, you can see the pictures I took of the sunrise (it's on Facebook), but you will never be able to experience the emotions or taste the fresh air or feel the sting of the cold or the misery of endless trekking or the joy of surpassing your own expectations until you GO OUT THERE AND DO IT!
To borrow a quote from Raleigh International- Get Out There!
What made it enjoyable was not that it was easy all the way. It is only because we trekked and knew what being unhappy was like that we actually appreciated the rest stops in between. And because the trek can be miserable (we had to trek in the rain for 2 hours one day, and it was cold... brrrr), we enjoyed the rest we could get when sleeping in the teahouses. The food was vegetarian on the mountain, tasteless, basic, but filling- food that food critics would rather die than eat because of its simplicity. One day on the trek down the mountains we ate the Maggi tom yam mee hoon we brought from Malaysia for tea, and it tasted wonderful- the very flavour of home.
People say life sucks, and yeah, sometimes it does. But if you don't know what sucks, you'll never know what rocks. It's the initial part that's the most difficult- getting yourself out of your little cocoon of warmth and stepping outside into the sometimes cold, harsh world that is waiting for you to explore. To see the sunrise in Nepal, we had to wake up at 0400 and trek in the dark up a hill for 2 hours wearing 4 layers of clothes, it was that cold. I admit to cursing while going uphill. But the view... that was amazing. Yes, you can see the pictures I took of the sunrise (it's on Facebook), but you will never be able to experience the emotions or taste the fresh air or feel the sting of the cold or the misery of endless trekking or the joy of surpassing your own expectations until you GO OUT THERE AND DO IT!
To borrow a quote from Raleigh International- Get Out There!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
A Speech About Men
This is a good article:
God and the world need men who will stand in the gap... men who are not for sale; men who are honest, sound from centre to the heart's core; men with consciences as steady as the needle to the pole; men who will stand for the right if the heavens totter and the earth reels; men who can tell the truth and look the world right in the eye; men who neither brag nor run; men who neither flag nor flinch; men who can have courage without shouting it; men in whom the courage of everlasting life runs still, deep, and strong; men who know their place and fill it; men who know their business and attend to it; men who will not lie, shirk, or dodge; men who are not too lazy to work, nor too proud to be poor.
by a Senator Frank Carlson.
There are far too many males who have neither consciences, nor values, nor inhibitations, and don't deserve to be called men. The good senator's description may perhaps be a little idealistic, but it's a speech- and a good speech must use any means necessary to get the message through. The message is simple: Men need to be men.
God and the world need men who will stand in the gap... men who are not for sale; men who are honest, sound from centre to the heart's core; men with consciences as steady as the needle to the pole; men who will stand for the right if the heavens totter and the earth reels; men who can tell the truth and look the world right in the eye; men who neither brag nor run; men who neither flag nor flinch; men who can have courage without shouting it; men in whom the courage of everlasting life runs still, deep, and strong; men who know their place and fill it; men who know their business and attend to it; men who will not lie, shirk, or dodge; men who are not too lazy to work, nor too proud to be poor.
by a Senator Frank Carlson.
There are far too many males who have neither consciences, nor values, nor inhibitations, and don't deserve to be called men. The good senator's description may perhaps be a little idealistic, but it's a speech- and a good speech must use any means necessary to get the message through. The message is simple: Men need to be men.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Dreams
Lately I've been doing something I don't usually do: dream. In the past four days I have had 3 dreams, the last one having occurred last night, and all pretty darn realistic ones too. Typically I can count on having a deep dreamless night, but with the onset of my increased nocturnal imagination it's like going into the movies at night instead of my bedroom. Not that I wake up tired or anything like that- it's just unusual.... and I find myself wondering how long this is going to keep up.
Apparently dreams are a way your brain tries to tell you things or sorts things out, a method which the subconscious mind uses to communicate with the conscious mind. In that case, my mind must speak in two different languages and live on different continents. If anyone can interpret dreams, I'd really like to meet him, because the messages I'm trying to tell myself are very odd to say it lightly. In brief, the first dream was about a nightclub (I have never visited a nightclub before), while the second one was about Harry Potter. If there's a hidden message in these two dreams, I have yet to fathom it. Neither one was similar to the other in feeling, characters in the dream, or location.
My most recent dream however, takes the cake. I couldn't even tell that I was dreaming, it seemed that real. The dream location was a very familiar one to me- it happened in my house. The content I hesitate to reveal, though one of the characters from my first dream somehow played a prominent part in this one. A recurring character in two completely different dreams on two different nights.... that's a first for me. Maybe it's a sign? I'm starting to think that it is, the trouble being I have no idea what the sign is about. Hopefully more dreams will clear the picture up.
Looking forward to tonight.
Apparently dreams are a way your brain tries to tell you things or sorts things out, a method which the subconscious mind uses to communicate with the conscious mind. In that case, my mind must speak in two different languages and live on different continents. If anyone can interpret dreams, I'd really like to meet him, because the messages I'm trying to tell myself are very odd to say it lightly. In brief, the first dream was about a nightclub (I have never visited a nightclub before), while the second one was about Harry Potter. If there's a hidden message in these two dreams, I have yet to fathom it. Neither one was similar to the other in feeling, characters in the dream, or location.
My most recent dream however, takes the cake. I couldn't even tell that I was dreaming, it seemed that real. The dream location was a very familiar one to me- it happened in my house. The content I hesitate to reveal, though one of the characters from my first dream somehow played a prominent part in this one. A recurring character in two completely different dreams on two different nights.... that's a first for me. Maybe it's a sign? I'm starting to think that it is, the trouble being I have no idea what the sign is about. Hopefully more dreams will clear the picture up.
Looking forward to tonight.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Undefinable Friends
I was talking to my friend AL one night rather recently, and he started dividing people into little groups, something like 'rankings' of friends. Amongst others, he mentioned 'hi-bye friends', 'friends', 'good friends', and 'girlfriend (as in GIRLfriend as opposed to girl friends :D ). At the time it was late at night, or more like early in the morning, and sleepiness got the better of me, so I didn't ask him how he streamed his friends into those categories.
Lets try to utilize this method of grouping for a while:
Acquaintances are easy to single out, granted. But what about 'friends', 'good friends' and 'girlfriends/ boyfriends'? Alright, maybe the last one needs some sort of formal declaration to the community to qualify or something... but even then it's easy to confuse the last category with 'good friends'. Surely we all know of some pairs of friends who seem close enough to actually be an item, yet frustratingly at times also seem like they aren't. I always think that they themselves are not sure which category to put each other in and are stuck in limbo between groups, undefinable. Friends and good friends too- how do you group them? Is it based on the amount of time spent together... or maybe the quality, perhaps? Would a 'good friend' spend a day studying with you or 10 minutes talking to you? Would he be just a 'normal friend' if he did the other?
It's difficult to quantify because it isn't quantifiable. The idea of groups is probably less accurate compared to the idea of a scale, and even that is imprecise. For now, I say that some things are not meant for us to define- what's wrong with fuzzy boarders instead of clear-cut boundaries? Throw the whole 'grouping', 'ranking', or 'scaling' thing out the window and just spend time with the people you like. Especially with the undefinable ones- just to keep the rest of the world guessing. And each other, of course.
Perhaps some people will think that I'll change my mind when I meet that 'special someone'. I don't think so. I have my own ideas on that little theory too, which is good for another posting in the future.
I'm feeling sooooooo evil right now :D
Lets try to utilize this method of grouping for a while:
Acquaintances are easy to single out, granted. But what about 'friends', 'good friends' and 'girlfriends/ boyfriends'? Alright, maybe the last one needs some sort of formal declaration to the community to qualify or something... but even then it's easy to confuse the last category with 'good friends'. Surely we all know of some pairs of friends who seem close enough to actually be an item, yet frustratingly at times also seem like they aren't. I always think that they themselves are not sure which category to put each other in and are stuck in limbo between groups, undefinable. Friends and good friends too- how do you group them? Is it based on the amount of time spent together... or maybe the quality, perhaps? Would a 'good friend' spend a day studying with you or 10 minutes talking to you? Would he be just a 'normal friend' if he did the other?
It's difficult to quantify because it isn't quantifiable. The idea of groups is probably less accurate compared to the idea of a scale, and even that is imprecise. For now, I say that some things are not meant for us to define- what's wrong with fuzzy boarders instead of clear-cut boundaries? Throw the whole 'grouping', 'ranking', or 'scaling' thing out the window and just spend time with the people you like. Especially with the undefinable ones- just to keep the rest of the world guessing. And each other, of course.
Perhaps some people will think that I'll change my mind when I meet that 'special someone'. I don't think so. I have my own ideas on that little theory too, which is good for another posting in the future.
I'm feeling sooooooo evil right now :D
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Musings on Courage
Fear, what a wonderfully powerful feeling. It's beautiful in it's complexity. When someone experiences fear, your body and instinct act as one, either to prepare you for the classic fight or flight.....
....or to completely immobilize you, leaving you powerless to do things that you wish you could do. I think it's safe to say that all of us have experienced fear- when asked to speak in public, or when being chased by a dog, or go into a dark room, or in a movie, or seeing a snake, spider, cockroach....
Fear is a basic natural response, one that probably has kept us humans alive for these thousands of years. It allowed our ancestors to run faster when being chased by animals to survive and subsequently pass on their genes to propagate the species. Better to run away, to hide, to live another day. Fear has been honed for centuries to become a perfect response to dangerous situations, giving one the speed, strength, or dexterity to escape that one never knew one had. The problem today is that more often than not, we experience fear in non-dangerous situations and give in to the natural response to evade. While this may aid one in SURVIVING, fear does nothing for a person's GROWTH. Unfortunately, existing is not enough- we have more than enough humans to pass on the genes for the next generation- and merely existing will bring no one any long term happiness.
I'm reading a book now that is helping supplement my ideas- I confess my expressionism is rather below par. The author writes about courage, and he asks, what is courage? The first thing one would think of is heroes running through fire, saving damsels in distress, dodging bullets, saving the world. But that's only one type of courage, one that I would argue is the most simple type, because it's a clear course of action, and there is recognition/fame at the end of it that provides motivation. But there are other types of courage that are just as important- the ones where the only spectator is you, and the choices are between the easy wrong and the hard right.
I imagine that most of us have probably been forced to choose between the right and the wrong, and further, have chosen the wrong way before because it was easier or less confrontational. Walking away and not getting involved is so much easier than standing up for your principles. It takes courage, of the moral kind, to make a stand and do what you believe is correct.
It is curious- curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare. - Mark Twain
Our education system does not really encourage the building of moral fiber. Sure, we learn Moral Education, and memorize definitions of various moral values to score in a test. But I believe that true morality can never be taught fully in a classroom. How does one explain the ambiguity of some situations; the unseen but oh so powerful pressure from external sources like your boss, your teacher, even your friends; the small voice inside you that is whispering for you to take a certain course of action even though it will make you be the only one to swim in a different direction from the general flow? Reading books will never be able to make you feel the inner battles of you vs yourself, or simulate your nervous system to produce those feelings of uneasiness, restlessness, or cold sweats one gets from making hard decisions.
Why can books never take the place of real experience? Because when we read, we are detached from the situation. Someone- the author(s)- is telling you how things are from his point of view. It doesn't need much brainpower to assimilate what he is saying, mostly using academic understanding anyway. We don't learn to think while reading, we learn to blindly accept what the author says and accept it as the gospel truth, memorizing each and every detail to regurgitate later on during exams. But of course, there hasn't been a book printed where there haven't been mistakes, because no matter what happens, people write books, and people are never perfect. To really learn, experience is the best teacher, even though she is one of the harshest. By merely reading, our 'soft skills' are rarely challenged and gradually atrophy. I would classify courage as one of the most important soft skills, because sooner or later we will be called to a moral challenge- our courage will determine whether we hold our ground or surrender. Most of the time the challenge isn't even announced. We are silently tested every single day- and we know if we pass or fail.
....or to completely immobilize you, leaving you powerless to do things that you wish you could do. I think it's safe to say that all of us have experienced fear- when asked to speak in public, or when being chased by a dog, or go into a dark room, or in a movie, or seeing a snake, spider, cockroach....
Fear is a basic natural response, one that probably has kept us humans alive for these thousands of years. It allowed our ancestors to run faster when being chased by animals to survive and subsequently pass on their genes to propagate the species. Better to run away, to hide, to live another day. Fear has been honed for centuries to become a perfect response to dangerous situations, giving one the speed, strength, or dexterity to escape that one never knew one had. The problem today is that more often than not, we experience fear in non-dangerous situations and give in to the natural response to evade. While this may aid one in SURVIVING, fear does nothing for a person's GROWTH. Unfortunately, existing is not enough- we have more than enough humans to pass on the genes for the next generation- and merely existing will bring no one any long term happiness.
I'm reading a book now that is helping supplement my ideas- I confess my expressionism is rather below par. The author writes about courage, and he asks, what is courage? The first thing one would think of is heroes running through fire, saving damsels in distress, dodging bullets, saving the world. But that's only one type of courage, one that I would argue is the most simple type, because it's a clear course of action, and there is recognition/fame at the end of it that provides motivation. But there are other types of courage that are just as important- the ones where the only spectator is you, and the choices are between the easy wrong and the hard right.
I imagine that most of us have probably been forced to choose between the right and the wrong, and further, have chosen the wrong way before because it was easier or less confrontational. Walking away and not getting involved is so much easier than standing up for your principles. It takes courage, of the moral kind, to make a stand and do what you believe is correct.
It is curious- curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare. - Mark Twain
Our education system does not really encourage the building of moral fiber. Sure, we learn Moral Education, and memorize definitions of various moral values to score in a test. But I believe that true morality can never be taught fully in a classroom. How does one explain the ambiguity of some situations; the unseen but oh so powerful pressure from external sources like your boss, your teacher, even your friends; the small voice inside you that is whispering for you to take a certain course of action even though it will make you be the only one to swim in a different direction from the general flow? Reading books will never be able to make you feel the inner battles of you vs yourself, or simulate your nervous system to produce those feelings of uneasiness, restlessness, or cold sweats one gets from making hard decisions.
Why can books never take the place of real experience? Because when we read, we are detached from the situation. Someone- the author(s)- is telling you how things are from his point of view. It doesn't need much brainpower to assimilate what he is saying, mostly using academic understanding anyway. We don't learn to think while reading, we learn to blindly accept what the author says and accept it as the gospel truth, memorizing each and every detail to regurgitate later on during exams. But of course, there hasn't been a book printed where there haven't been mistakes, because no matter what happens, people write books, and people are never perfect. To really learn, experience is the best teacher, even though she is one of the harshest. By merely reading, our 'soft skills' are rarely challenged and gradually atrophy. I would classify courage as one of the most important soft skills, because sooner or later we will be called to a moral challenge- our courage will determine whether we hold our ground or surrender. Most of the time the challenge isn't even announced. We are silently tested every single day- and we know if we pass or fail.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
A Short Post
I really feel bad when I make others feel bad- especially when it's a girl and she goes away emo, or even worse making them cry, ESPECIALLY if it's because something I did or said (more likely). That's a guilt trip. The accidental ones are the worst- when everything is fine and dandy, then suddenly BOOM!, smiles turn into sad faces. Anger I can deal with -when people are angry with me, I mean- but sadness.... I always feel like I should do something. Sorry, I didn't and don't mean to make you sad.
Someone once told me that instead of paying someone back, it's better to pay the good deed forward. Go out and touch someone else's life- make a difference. Most people do not expect anything when they do random acts of kindness. I sure don't.
PS- to a particular reader- you aren't a disappointment, I have no right to say that. Will try not to use that word again, on anyone.
Someone once told me that instead of paying someone back, it's better to pay the good deed forward. Go out and touch someone else's life- make a difference. Most people do not expect anything when they do random acts of kindness. I sure don't.
PS- to a particular reader- you aren't a disappointment, I have no right to say that. Will try not to use that word again, on anyone.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
On Rumors
Well, here we go again. The rumor mill is churning- the sound of it is getting rather familiar. It's the usual stuff, rumors that I'm involved with some girl, which is untrue, at least at the level the rumors would have us in. It is true that we hang out a lot. Undeniable. It is true that we do quite a bit of stuff together. Also undeniable. But that is all- nothing more.
There is quite a leap between being good friends, and being a couple. The social demography changes too. I always try not to be...inconvenient around couples, whereas being around friends is so much easier. Example- I'm helping my 2 friends prep for A2. If I were an item with one of them, the other would feel so left out, like she shouldn't be there. It's an act of pushing other people away to make time for the exclusive one. Not very comfortable with that at present. The expectations too, I could probably give one whole blog post about that. Friends don't expect so much- just the basics, maybe a little more for good friends. Couples.....don't get me started. I have come to realize that timing is also a very important factor- meeting the right person at the wrong time is just too bad. And A-levels is not the right time, so it doesn't matter who the right person is. Some of my friends may note that I am quite interested when they talk about their past relationships- I do find it fascinating, really fascinating. Informative and good to learn from. but it's always complicated, too complicated for me right now.
Funny. This would be what? The fifth time, at least, these type of rumors have been flying around. Secondary school....never heard the end of it. Some even managed to survive and reach college! It's also most probably not the last time. Personally I find it quite amusing, irritating at some times, but mostly good fun. As long as they stay at the current level, it should be okay.
I confess that I am not doing very much to actively discourage the rumors. Not avoiding this girl, still hanging out. (Quite unlike one earlier case where I completely avoided being associated with the girl to halt the rumors. Weakened a friendship there.) That's partially because rumors mostly fly behind your back -that's how it usually is- but mostly because now I don't believe that rumors should change the way you treat your friends- not in the least way. I'm happy the way things are, so why change what isn't broken? I know there is nothing very serious between me and this girl, who shall remain unnamed for now, so let people talk! Sticks and stones, after all.
From the way people act, to spend time with any girl is to be....shall we say, chasing her? Lol- then the only way to be certain that no "they are together" rumors would be for guys to mix exclusively with guys- and get branded as a gay. Lol, no escape. But that's extreme, and slightly narrow minded. It's not always like that..... Why can't guys and girls mix without worrying about stirring up a storm of speculation? Ok, fine, I may have been guilty of some speculation at some points in time, but I have promised to cut back on that as much as I can. Maybe it's just human nature- curiosity, I think.
Hm.... come to think on it, I shouldn't complain about others so much- I myself have talked about people before! Haha! Quite an insight there. Asking for all of them to cease would be a tall order, too tall. Actually, I should probably be thankful for the restraint exhibited by my friends. I was a lot more teasing with some of my friends- Andrew and Joanne come to mind. The balloon incident. However, there are some differences- they ended up an item, meaning they had thoughts of hooking up sooner or later; where else I, at any rate, do not harbor intentions to become one half of a pair.
As an ending to this rambling blog post, if the below were the definition of love, then I could say in all honesty that I love my friends, the girls included. Family goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway- I love them. The trick is loving with no strings attached. That, I'm working on.
Love: Unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1):the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2): brotherly concern for others.
There is quite a leap between being good friends, and being a couple. The social demography changes too. I always try not to be...inconvenient around couples, whereas being around friends is so much easier. Example- I'm helping my 2 friends prep for A2. If I were an item with one of them, the other would feel so left out, like she shouldn't be there. It's an act of pushing other people away to make time for the exclusive one. Not very comfortable with that at present. The expectations too, I could probably give one whole blog post about that. Friends don't expect so much- just the basics, maybe a little more for good friends. Couples.....don't get me started. I have come to realize that timing is also a very important factor- meeting the right person at the wrong time is just too bad. And A-levels is not the right time, so it doesn't matter who the right person is. Some of my friends may note that I am quite interested when they talk about their past relationships- I do find it fascinating, really fascinating. Informative and good to learn from. but it's always complicated, too complicated for me right now.
Funny. This would be what? The fifth time, at least, these type of rumors have been flying around. Secondary school....never heard the end of it. Some even managed to survive and reach college! It's also most probably not the last time. Personally I find it quite amusing, irritating at some times, but mostly good fun. As long as they stay at the current level, it should be okay.
I confess that I am not doing very much to actively discourage the rumors. Not avoiding this girl, still hanging out. (Quite unlike one earlier case where I completely avoided being associated with the girl to halt the rumors. Weakened a friendship there.) That's partially because rumors mostly fly behind your back -that's how it usually is- but mostly because now I don't believe that rumors should change the way you treat your friends- not in the least way. I'm happy the way things are, so why change what isn't broken? I know there is nothing very serious between me and this girl, who shall remain unnamed for now, so let people talk! Sticks and stones, after all.
From the way people act, to spend time with any girl is to be....shall we say, chasing her? Lol- then the only way to be certain that no "they are together" rumors would be for guys to mix exclusively with guys- and get branded as a gay. Lol, no escape. But that's extreme, and slightly narrow minded. It's not always like that..... Why can't guys and girls mix without worrying about stirring up a storm of speculation? Ok, fine, I may have been guilty of some speculation at some points in time, but I have promised to cut back on that as much as I can. Maybe it's just human nature- curiosity, I think.
Hm.... come to think on it, I shouldn't complain about others so much- I myself have talked about people before! Haha! Quite an insight there. Asking for all of them to cease would be a tall order, too tall. Actually, I should probably be thankful for the restraint exhibited by my friends. I was a lot more teasing with some of my friends- Andrew and Joanne come to mind. The balloon incident. However, there are some differences- they ended up an item, meaning they had thoughts of hooking up sooner or later; where else I, at any rate, do not harbor intentions to become one half of a pair.
As an ending to this rambling blog post, if the below were the definition of love, then I could say in all honesty that I love my friends, the girls included. Family goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway- I love them. The trick is loving with no strings attached. That, I'm working on.
Love: Unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1):the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2): brotherly concern for others.
Monday, July 19, 2010
On Learning
I'm volunteering my mornings in a spastic center while waiting for the A2 results to come out. The class I'm helping out is supposedly the standard 2 class, but that's not a representative of the kids reading or writing level. As a rule, no one knows their whole alphabet, while most can't walk and some can't talk. And I'm talking about 10 or 11 year olds. But before saying something along the lines of "oh my gawd!", remember that it's not something that they choose- all of them would learn to walk, talk, and move properly if they could.
It's kinda sad, sometimes. When I'm pushing them around on their wheelchairs, or helping them write because they can't control their hands, I occasionally get ambushed by pity. Here are a group of children who will never get to do so many things that we take for granted. Simple things that we do automatically like walking in a straight line, talking coherently, awareness of our surroundings and so much more are just out of their reach for now, perhaps forever. Even reading this blog would be impossible for most because they don't know the full alphabet. I think of the things I've done- playing music, computer gaming, running, swimming unassisted, and I know that the kid right next to me most probably will never enjoy doing any of these things.
Most of the time, though, I'm not that pessimistic. I'm learning acceptance- how to accept that things are this way and the past cannot be changed. One of my friends said it's better to look at the glass as half full. She's right. The kids may not have much, but they are happy with what they can do. Well, mostly la. Today I helped this girl walk in her walker, the first time I've seen her walk ever. She wasn't very good, not much practice, but she managed to walk all the way to the end of the corridor before getting tired and having to sit down. After resting for a while, she walked until her face was red, and continued until she just had to let go of the walker and fall down. That I took as the cue to carry her back to class.
One may wonder what I was doing the whole time, just watching her? Well, yes. I liked the way she was pushing herself to go on. I liked that determination A LOT. She never once indicated that she wanted my help. Even after I picked her up after her tumble and tried to carry her back to class, she was gesturing at her walker and asking with her hands to go back to it. She was inching her way to a chair right before falling, but I guess the strain was too great. Caught her in time- well, that's my job.
It's hard to let the kids do their things in their own way, partially because it seems so painstaking. You know you could do better than them, faster, more efficiently, and with less trouble. But for them to learn how to be independent, one must suppress this instinct to hold them by the hand and do it yourself. The hand should instead be at a distance, not too far that one cannot be caught, but not close enough to be caught at will. Falling is part of learning- if one does not fall, one cannot learn. I think it's like that with everything- especially teaching. You do what you can, and let the students flounder. The good teachers understand this- that one cannot, indeed must not, spoon feed, or wean students off spoon feeding ASAP. If that means throwing students in the deep end just after teaching them the basics of swimming, then so be it. Just have someone pull the students who can't out before they drown. It reminds me of further math, where my friend Chester described the subject as being thrown out of an aeroplane with a parachute and a manual on how to use the parachute but never having seen a parachute ever before. But in the end, as with anything the ultimate choice on whether a student ever succeeds in what he sets out to learn lies with the student himself. Something I like to point out over and over again.
It's kinda sad, sometimes. When I'm pushing them around on their wheelchairs, or helping them write because they can't control their hands, I occasionally get ambushed by pity. Here are a group of children who will never get to do so many things that we take for granted. Simple things that we do automatically like walking in a straight line, talking coherently, awareness of our surroundings and so much more are just out of their reach for now, perhaps forever. Even reading this blog would be impossible for most because they don't know the full alphabet. I think of the things I've done- playing music, computer gaming, running, swimming unassisted, and I know that the kid right next to me most probably will never enjoy doing any of these things.
Most of the time, though, I'm not that pessimistic. I'm learning acceptance- how to accept that things are this way and the past cannot be changed. One of my friends said it's better to look at the glass as half full. She's right. The kids may not have much, but they are happy with what they can do. Well, mostly la. Today I helped this girl walk in her walker, the first time I've seen her walk ever. She wasn't very good, not much practice, but she managed to walk all the way to the end of the corridor before getting tired and having to sit down. After resting for a while, she walked until her face was red, and continued until she just had to let go of the walker and fall down. That I took as the cue to carry her back to class.
One may wonder what I was doing the whole time, just watching her? Well, yes. I liked the way she was pushing herself to go on. I liked that determination A LOT. She never once indicated that she wanted my help. Even after I picked her up after her tumble and tried to carry her back to class, she was gesturing at her walker and asking with her hands to go back to it. She was inching her way to a chair right before falling, but I guess the strain was too great. Caught her in time- well, that's my job.
It's hard to let the kids do their things in their own way, partially because it seems so painstaking. You know you could do better than them, faster, more efficiently, and with less trouble. But for them to learn how to be independent, one must suppress this instinct to hold them by the hand and do it yourself. The hand should instead be at a distance, not too far that one cannot be caught, but not close enough to be caught at will. Falling is part of learning- if one does not fall, one cannot learn. I think it's like that with everything- especially teaching. You do what you can, and let the students flounder. The good teachers understand this- that one cannot, indeed must not, spoon feed, or wean students off spoon feeding ASAP. If that means throwing students in the deep end just after teaching them the basics of swimming, then so be it. Just have someone pull the students who can't out before they drown. It reminds me of further math, where my friend Chester described the subject as being thrown out of an aeroplane with a parachute and a manual on how to use the parachute but never having seen a parachute ever before. But in the end, as with anything the ultimate choice on whether a student ever succeeds in what he sets out to learn lies with the student himself. Something I like to point out over and over again.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
On Acceptance
I can't help but smile wryly at myself sometimes- for being naive?
There are so many levels of a person, so many facets. The number of sides one sees in a person is dependent on how one is willing to express and the other is willing to understand. I used to think that people are unwilling to express themselves around me- there was even this one interesting comment by a classmate that she thought I was scary and that's why she didn't ask me questions, even though she could do with help. But upon consideration, perhaps that is not the truth. Maybe I am not willing enough to understand.
A majority of my friends I know maybe skin-deep. I know how they usually act, or rather the appearance they choose to present, and I know a bit of basic background. Some others I understand well enough to get a bit of what they are thinking. When I'm with my friends, they only need look at my face to know what is going on in my head. Well, most of the time. And behind the scenes, there isn't much going on. I'm like that at home, in school, with friends- just that I tend to be less expressive when everything is in Chinese because I'm less fluent in that. Basically rather constant. But so many people seem to carry some type of......burden, some sadness that is really deep. I have friends like that, quite a few, come to think about it. And I can't seem to do anything about it, no matter what I do, say, or not say.
The only constant thing in life is change. Maybe my problem is that I'm unwilling to let my friends change too much? I profile them according to their happy times, so when they are not happy alarm bells go off in my head. I know that people cannot be happy all the time, yes, consciously I know that. Emotionally, that may be another matter. It's just that I dislike having people sad or emo-ing around me- it makes me feel so helpless and unable to concentrate. I get the urge to try and make them feel happy again. My reasoning is what's the point in being friends if you are always unhappy together. Come to think of it, that's a rather narrow view of what friends should be...... Lol- see? Unwilling to let others express themselves fully. People shouldn't have to pretend around you, boy! Let happy friends be happy, and sad ones be sad- don't try to change anything! I wonder if telling my friends to be happy and cracking jokes at them when they are down constitutes unwillingness to accept people for who they are.....?
Perhaps that's the reason I don't see so much that goes on.... because I only WANT to see people happy. So I act in such a way that people are unable to express their unhappiness, because I am unwilling to let them be unhappy. So they go away and find some place to emo, and talk to others,or write it on FB, or blog about it. And if I find out I feel like I've somehow failed them as a friend (stupid, isn't it?) and try to make them happy when actually what they should be doing is letting it out. And since most of my friends are really kind people, when one expends time and energy on them, they don't want to be unkind in turn, and so pretend they are happy when they are not..... And so the emotions that should be expressed are suppressed again, needing to be let out even more. And the cycle repeats....
Experiment time. Got to try and break this vicious cycle. Easiest way is to not go to people and try to pick them up. If people want your company, they will find you. So naive, thinking that people will be happy all the time. Some things need to be faced alone, and the best thing that I can do is let go. Idealistic, my dad would say, idealistic to think that friends would only share good times.
But when I look back that's what I want to remember.......
Funny. Looks like my acceptance of people as individuals isn't as good as I thought. Got to work on that. A good step would be to stop asking questions, and let silence do the talking. Yeah, that isn't bad. Cut down on the yapping.
There are so many levels of a person, so many facets. The number of sides one sees in a person is dependent on how one is willing to express and the other is willing to understand. I used to think that people are unwilling to express themselves around me- there was even this one interesting comment by a classmate that she thought I was scary and that's why she didn't ask me questions, even though she could do with help. But upon consideration, perhaps that is not the truth. Maybe I am not willing enough to understand.
A majority of my friends I know maybe skin-deep. I know how they usually act, or rather the appearance they choose to present, and I know a bit of basic background. Some others I understand well enough to get a bit of what they are thinking. When I'm with my friends, they only need look at my face to know what is going on in my head. Well, most of the time. And behind the scenes, there isn't much going on. I'm like that at home, in school, with friends- just that I tend to be less expressive when everything is in Chinese because I'm less fluent in that. Basically rather constant. But so many people seem to carry some type of......burden, some sadness that is really deep. I have friends like that, quite a few, come to think about it. And I can't seem to do anything about it, no matter what I do, say, or not say.
The only constant thing in life is change. Maybe my problem is that I'm unwilling to let my friends change too much? I profile them according to their happy times, so when they are not happy alarm bells go off in my head. I know that people cannot be happy all the time, yes, consciously I know that. Emotionally, that may be another matter. It's just that I dislike having people sad or emo-ing around me- it makes me feel so helpless and unable to concentrate. I get the urge to try and make them feel happy again. My reasoning is what's the point in being friends if you are always unhappy together. Come to think of it, that's a rather narrow view of what friends should be...... Lol- see? Unwilling to let others express themselves fully. People shouldn't have to pretend around you, boy! Let happy friends be happy, and sad ones be sad- don't try to change anything! I wonder if telling my friends to be happy and cracking jokes at them when they are down constitutes unwillingness to accept people for who they are.....?
Perhaps that's the reason I don't see so much that goes on.... because I only WANT to see people happy. So I act in such a way that people are unable to express their unhappiness, because I am unwilling to let them be unhappy. So they go away and find some place to emo, and talk to others,or write it on FB, or blog about it. And if I find out I feel like I've somehow failed them as a friend (stupid, isn't it?) and try to make them happy when actually what they should be doing is letting it out. And since most of my friends are really kind people, when one expends time and energy on them, they don't want to be unkind in turn, and so pretend they are happy when they are not..... And so the emotions that should be expressed are suppressed again, needing to be let out even more. And the cycle repeats....
Experiment time. Got to try and break this vicious cycle. Easiest way is to not go to people and try to pick them up. If people want your company, they will find you. So naive, thinking that people will be happy all the time. Some things need to be faced alone, and the best thing that I can do is let go. Idealistic, my dad would say, idealistic to think that friends would only share good times.
But when I look back that's what I want to remember.......
Funny. Looks like my acceptance of people as individuals isn't as good as I thought. Got to work on that. A good step would be to stop asking questions, and let silence do the talking. Yeah, that isn't bad. Cut down on the yapping.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Self-Analysis
Sometimes I wonder if my friends wonder why I do the things I do. If I were not me and instead I were my friend, me would certainly wonder why I act the way I do. All the planning and worrying and organizing and randomness- the nail painting, the marathon and half-marathon running, the badminton outings, the teaching people, the driving people around.... completely unnecessary, and a big expenditure of time and energy. The thing is, I treat others the way I would like to be treated. And it's that simple. I'm not complaining, not at all- just hoping to be understood.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
On Dogs
I like dogs. They don't ask for much- food, water, shelter, some exercise, some love, a back-scratch here and there..... simple needs. If you provide these things, in return they will protect your house day and night, take care of rats (at least mine do), and even provide a back to rest your head after a tough day. Seems disproportionate, what you give to your dogs and what you receive from them- unfair for the dog. But if a dog could talk, he'd probably tell you that it's nothing special, since almost all dogs do what I mentioned above. And he'd also dismiss the argument about the arrangement being unfair- if a dog felt bad about it, he wouldn't bark at strangers anymore. I like the way dogs can accept people so easily into the family circle- come to my house a few times and my dogs will start to wag their tails at you instead of barking their heads off.
When you come home from work, or school, or an outing with friends, they'll be there to greet you. It doesn't matter if you come back in the morning , at noon, or in the middle of a dark night, they will still come bounding out to lick you in greeting. Even though dogs don't really smile, you know they are happy to see you. Why? Because of who you are. Part of their pack, their family. Dogs need no other reason. You provide for them, and they will repay you for life. And these are the very creatures that one so often takes for granted.
You can learn a lot from animals, it's what nature initially was like. Simple and uncomplicated, if sometimes brutal. No need to second guess, no need for deception, just be natural. I don't know about you, but I for one would like to say I am better than an animal. But the loyalty of a dog? Can I even compare to that? Can you?
When you come home from work, or school, or an outing with friends, they'll be there to greet you. It doesn't matter if you come back in the morning , at noon, or in the middle of a dark night, they will still come bounding out to lick you in greeting. Even though dogs don't really smile, you know they are happy to see you. Why? Because of who you are. Part of their pack, their family. Dogs need no other reason. You provide for them, and they will repay you for life. And these are the very creatures that one so often takes for granted.
You can learn a lot from animals, it's what nature initially was like. Simple and uncomplicated, if sometimes brutal. No need to second guess, no need for deception, just be natural. I don't know about you, but I for one would like to say I am better than an animal. But the loyalty of a dog? Can I even compare to that? Can you?
Thursday, July 1, 2010
On Changing Times
It's kinda odd, what's happening now. My friends are evolving, finding new directions. Me too, I guess. The thing is, I want to understand what is happening- I like knowing people and seeing what makes them tick, which is probably the reason I do the things I do. Around my age, we all are mostly self-aware, and relatively autonomous when it comes to decision making processes, so I am currently adopting the wait-and-see approach. It's worked once, it might work again.
It's entirely possible that there is nothing wrong.... actually, who am I to say what is right and wrong? It could be a phase that people pass through, who hasn't had bouts of emo-ness?..... but the silence is unsettling, especially from people who are not usually silent. And not just one, no siree, not a single person, but multiple people. I can only ask so many questions before I feel like I'm prying, past that the only thing I can do is be there. Sometimes one has to accept the fact that people who have meaning to you just don't want to share their feelings with you. I'm trying not to be worried until I have something solid to worry about... Those who know me well know how I fail miserably in that particular exercise.
It's true that people cannot be happy all the times, and for some now is the most appropriate time to be unhappy, with all the friends going back to their lives having finished college. Heck, even I'm feeling more blue than usual. So, the current general feeling is nothing unnatural, I suppose. Of course, knowing that so much goes on behind the scenes, I could be entirely mistaken, again.
On a more positive note, I think today has been one of the luckiest days of my life. Even if somewhat confusing. Such a short time it takes to make such a difference in a life.
It's entirely possible that there is nothing wrong.... actually, who am I to say what is right and wrong? It could be a phase that people pass through, who hasn't had bouts of emo-ness?..... but the silence is unsettling, especially from people who are not usually silent. And not just one, no siree, not a single person, but multiple people. I can only ask so many questions before I feel like I'm prying, past that the only thing I can do is be there. Sometimes one has to accept the fact that people who have meaning to you just don't want to share their feelings with you. I'm trying not to be worried until I have something solid to worry about... Those who know me well know how I fail miserably in that particular exercise.
It's true that people cannot be happy all the times, and for some now is the most appropriate time to be unhappy, with all the friends going back to their lives having finished college. Heck, even I'm feeling more blue than usual. So, the current general feeling is nothing unnatural, I suppose. Of course, knowing that so much goes on behind the scenes, I could be entirely mistaken, again.
On a more positive note, I think today has been one of the luckiest days of my life. Even if somewhat confusing. Such a short time it takes to make such a difference in a life.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Pilot
Some things are too private to post on facebook where everybody can see it, yet not so private that one would wish to hide it in a diary. Usually what I would do is find a trusted someone and have a talk with him or her- usually a her. Even then it's difficult to say all that is on one's chest, due to various reasons. So now I shall experiment with posting those half-and-half thoughts here, and seeing if it's worth the effort. Constructive feedback in reasonable quantities is welcome. Hoping it doesn't turn out into some emo blog- those feel so emotionally draining. We shall see, won't we?
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